I didn’t start out planning to write a nostalgic blog, but so much of my food experiences and knowledge are rooted in what I ate growing up. I didn’t even know I had all those memories stored up, but maybe that’s one of the signs of growing old (and growing sideways). That’s ample warning of a long-winded grandmother story coming up… so here goes….

A long, long ago, like maybe 30 years ago, Chinese weddings were a little different… at least in Penang where I grew up. These days, most people just go for a wedding dinner in a Chinese restaurant or hotel. But there was a time when we would wake up early and put on a nice dress, and go to the bride or groom’s house.

And the wedding guests would start the day with bak moi, or pork porridge. There will be a big pot in the kitchen, and someone would ladle a bowl for the relatives, neighbours and friends who would slowly trickle in. There is usually minced pork, tong chai, spring onion and whatnot in that bowl of watery rice porridge.

But the feast to look forward to is the t’ng tok (which literally translates to long table) because lunch is served on long rows of tables covered with pink mahjung paper. In those days, the family would have engaged an itinerant cook who goes from wedding to wedding.

One of our relatives was a wedding cook, and he and his family would lug with them huge pots, crockery and cutlery, and stay overnight at the wedding party’s house and cook up a feast.

I must have been to countless of these weddings. Children were welcome at these weddings, and someone was always getting married one weekend or another. Then again, people had 12 children, or at least 5 children to marry off in those days, and even the most distant relatives were invited and expected to come for the weddings.

I know the menu by heart. There is curry chicken, lor bak and acar awak. There is jiu hu char (stir-fried yambean with cuttlefish), and the richer families would serve sharksfin stir-fried with yambean and carrots to commemorate the special occasion. Then, there’s two types of soup – kiam chai ark (duck with salted vegetables) and tu tor th’g (pork stomach soup) invigorated by white peppercorns. There is also chor char – yam bean, cabbage and carrots cut into squares and stirfried with pork and prawns. My favourite is timun char swee – sliced cucumber marinated in vinegar so they remain crunchy, and then stir-fried with liver and gizzard. I love the crunchy cucumbers in the barest sweet and sour gravy, and of course I love liver with anything. But I have no appreciation of gizzard, so I leave them out when I cook this dish.

Not many people serve this t’ng tok wedding lunch anymore. The preparation is tedious, and I don’t know if there are any more itinerant wedding cooks. There is also probably no space in flats and terrace houses for those long tables anymore.

My mother served t’ng tok lunch for all her children’s wedding. But she was only able to do it because she has two sisters to help her, and even then it was exhausting work. The reward of course was that the guests were happy, and some even requested for takeaways of their favourite dishes. At my brother’s wedding, his friends had a second round of lunch after they returned from the bride’s house and cleaned out all the food.

I miss those t’ng tok wedding lunches. We knew most of the guests at those weddings, and even if we don’t we had to find out. I was the eldest, and it was my job to make sure I greeted all the guests and that my sisters and brother followed suit. In Chinese, there is a specific title for relatives on both our mother and father’s side, and we have to address them correctly.

Everyone takes turn to eat, and we’d even help to serve and replenish the dishes. It’s a lot more communal and interactive than sitting put at a ten-course dinner, and sometimes even with strangers in a sea of 50 tables, or 100 tables, in an air-conditioned restaurant.

RECIPE

CHAR SWEE TIMUN (CUCUMBER STIR-FRIED WITH VINEGAR)

INGREDIENTS

1 medium cucumber, about 300g

1 teaspoon salt

2 tablespoons rice vinegar

1 tablespoon cooking oil

1 onion, quartered

1 red chilli, sliced

2-3 liver, sliced coarsely

1 tablespoon sugar

1/4 cup water

1/2 tablespoon starch flour

Halve the cucumber lengthwise, and remove the seeds. Then, cut the cucumber coarsely. Rub the cucumber with salt, and leave for 5 minutes. Remove the water, and add the vinegar. Leave for about 15 minutes. Heat the cooking oil, and saute the onions and chilli. Then, add the liver and stir-fry quickly for about 3 minutes. Add the cucumber. Stir to mix evenly, and add sugar. Add water. Taste to check the seasoning, and add more vinegar and sugar until you get the sweet sour balance you like. Dilute the starch flour in about 3 tablespoons of water, and add to the mixture to thicken the sauce. Serve with rice

Note: Some people like gizzard in this dish, and some use prawns instead of liver and innards